On the Edge of Obesity

Diet & Fitness

On the Edge of Obesity

25 years of experience

The first time I paid any attention to my weight was when I was 17 years old. I stepped on the scales at my family doctor’s clinic. He recorded my weight and uttered the following six words.

“Do you want to become obese?”

I weighted 165 lbs and stood 5'4" and wore size 6 clothing. My doctor’s words would ring in my ears for the next two decades.

This was the late 1990s and the diet fads all dictated frequent doses of aerobics, fat free salads and pasta. I had grown up eating a healthy dose of rice and curry with my go to lunch of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a side of carrots or an apple. I lived an active lifestyle running track and field, attending an aerobics class three times a week and walking the family dog. I could not fathom why I was 20 lbs heavier than I should be by my height category. Perhaps I had dense muscles or bones.

Five years after starting university, late nights with alcoholic drinks and much heart break, my weight had increased by 10 lbs. My pant size had gone from a lean 8 to a muffin topped 16. My family doctor’s prediction had come true. I was now at the threshold of obesity.

I went on my first diet. I cut the pasta in preference of healthy lean salads. I increased exercise which had been overlooked during the gauntlet that is university. I joined a yoga class. I managed to bring down and maintain myself at a size 12. Incredibly, the fat melted off with no problem. However, my weight would remain at 175 lbs for the better part of the next decade.

In the 2000s I was influenced by Gillian McKeith’s book and TV series “You are what you eat” and attempted to eat “clean”. I would go for acupuncture and meditation to encourage mental and spiritual balance. I was motivated by Gary Taubes’ Good Calories, Bad Calories. Yet no matter how much I worked out at a gym or ate ‘healthy’ as the pundits dictated my body had decided this was its set point. My body would periodically fluctuate up to a size 14 and back down to a 12.

Hiking, Zumba, swimming, and sea weed body wraps helped push me down to a size 10 for my wedding in 2008. By 2009, my body had inched back up. Even at my smallest, I would think of myself as being ‘fat’. I would body shame myself for being unfit and a glutton.

It’s hard then, for me to consider weight loss without also feeling the failure of never being slim enough. — Shannon Ashley

In university I was surprised when my rake thin ballerina friend would start dieting on account of having gained two pounds. Every woman walks around with the impression that she could lose a few pounds. I have since stopped arguing with thin people and just accepted their truth as theirs. Yet, where does it stop?

I regret not appreciating how small I was in the past during the moment. I appreciate my present size and weight.

Changing Body Image Prejudice

From the day my family doctor brought my attention to my weight I have had a struggle with both my weight and body image. Secretly, I suspect that if he had never raised the subject that perhaps I would have skipped through life thinking I was normal and healthy.

One reason I felt the urge to lose weight was because I could not express myself through my wardrobe. Shopping for clothes in this era was a nightmare since everything that was sold for the curvier frame resulted in a boxy style that neither looked good nor elevated the mood of the wearer. I lived most of my life wearing over-sized shirts over a tank top or a loose sweater to hide the curves. Family members were always ready to point out the existence of a muffin top or quadro-boob. Being overweight was something to feel ashamed of and to hide.

My girlfriend shared a story with me about how shocked the ‘fit’ people in her fitness class were to see her showing up and pushing her physical limits harder than the women half her size. Your size does not dictate your abilities. See Lizzie Howell for inspiration.

Lindy West’s Shrill on Netflix is spot on in its portrayal of how the world perceives overweight people. Women are told we should obtain all of the highest goals but are fettered by not having the uniform look that men do. Any day of the week the gym is filled with women seeking to become more lean. No matter how many degrees or accolades you receive, if you are overweight people will assume you are lazy, slow, and a complainer.

Today, in 2019, I am proud to discover the clothing options for curvier gals has improved considerably. The number of overweight models and examples of overweight people with physical prowess are abundant. Advice on how to look good and own your shape are everywhere from YouTube to Instagram.

I appreciate my curves.

Pregnancy Weight Gain and Loss

During my first pregnancy, I reached 200 lbs. A year postpartum I was 185 lbs and a size 16. It would take pictures from a trip to Puerto Rico to spur me to take up kickboxing and decrease my portion sizes. My dress size successfully dropped back to size 12 at 180 lbs.

Four years later my second pregnancy shot my weight up to 210 lbs. Following this pregnancy I maintained two years at 190 lbs with healthy clean eating and lots of walking but my weight crawled back up to 210 lbs, dress size 16–18. I enrolled myself in the Nerd Fitness Academy. In frustration, I sought my doctor’s advice.

Sadly, most physicians will nonchalantly advise their obese patients right into an eating disorder — as long as it might translate into weight loss. — Shannon Ashley

My doctor sent me to Dr. Poon’s Metabolic Diet Clinic. The Poon diet is a monitored keto diet with a heavy restriction on dietary sugar. Within three months I had dropped 30 lbs to 180 lbs, a chubby size 10 — 12. The problem with the diet was that I missed all the good foods. I was eating a lot of meat, and loads of kale and broccoli but felt guilt for so much as looking at a carrot. I also craved greatly on this diet and constantly felt repressed. My food consumption was different than that of my family.

I didn’t want to go on the Atkins diet again, because I don’t want to eat that much protein or meat, don’t want to give up fruit, or worry about how many vegetable carbs I’m eating. I do not want to count any numbers except the pounds I’m losing and the lower sizes I’m fitting in. — Gigi J Wolf

Having reached a goal if not ‘the’ goal, and not seeing my weight drop any further, I decided to go for baby number three. I started eating a more regular though low carbohydrate macro tracking diet (< 100 g, My Fitness Pal, dietdoctor.com) and my weight shifted up again to 190 lbs within a month.

I looked amazing during my third pregnancy in great part to being diagnosed with gestational diabetes. This meant adopting lessons I had learned from the Poon Diet and watching my blood glucose levels. My total weight fluctuated up to 210 lbs and dropped to 190 lbs after delivery.

While breastfeeding my weight would not drop. I attended a gym with enthusiasm and even overcame diastasis recti, my core muscles had separated causing my belly to tent. However, my weight continued to increase to 207 lbs by January.

I decided to try Intermittent Fasting. My guru in this was Kayla Cox of Six Miles to Supper. A fellow mom of 3 who on seeing her pictures on Facebook decided to do something about it. Her relaxed and forgiving approach to fasting took away the extreme edge and expectations toted by more specialized trainers in the field. I also hit the gym hard on a daily basis working either the treadmill, an occasional HIIT/boxing class, aquafit, or hatha yoga during the work week. Six months later, I feel I have earned my lean size 12 self and weigh in at 190 lbs.