Anecdotal Evidence

Playful Objectivity

It’s 4AM and the words to the song of the same title by Our Lady Peace come to mind.

Diliny M. De Alwis

20 Dec 2019 — 4 min read

Photo by Moodywalk on Unsplash

Life

Playful Objectivity

It’s 4AM and the words to the song of the same title by Our Lady Peace come to mind.

In this instance, objectivity is to not be influenced by personal feelings, interpretations, or prejudice; to use thinking that is based on facts; unbiased:an objective opinion. Objectivity is also the intent upon or dealing with things external to the mind rather than with thoughts or feelings.

Playful is making fun or to sport of being objective. Playfulness is to reduce the heaviness of the tone of your thoughts.

I walked around my good intentions
And found that there were none
I blame my father for the wasted years
We hardly talked

When thoughts are spinning around in our heads at 4AM, oftentimes it is a personal hang up over some unspoken detail. For example, a disagreement with a friend or loved one over something hypocritical that has not been voiced. You feel the intense unfairness and sense of wrong however your silence during the day results in subsequent internalization of the issue. This in turn creates a tail spin of thoughts at 4 AM in the morning.

I never thought I would forget this hate
Then a phone call made me realize
I’m wrong

Communication is the key to relieving tension. However, this is not something you can do with another human soul at 4AM when all the world is asleep. Its the worst time to write an email or make a phone call. So how to deconstruct the thought bomb? Communicate with yourself. Write out your thoughts. Whatever you do, don’t hit send. Everything is bolder, crisper, and louder in the middle of the night. Especially loud and raw are the thoughts that keep you awake. This is the best time to write things down and to actualize the weight of your words.

In waking hours, in daylight, our perception changes to one that is more objective, outward considerate, and less self centered. We are more objective about what we are thinking.

And if I don’t make it known that
I’ve loved you all along
Just like sunny days that
We ignore because
We’re all dumb and jaded
And I hope to God I figure out
What’s wrong

Writing thoughts helps. This brings us back to being objective and being able to look at our thoughts in a playful manner. Once we remove the emotions, we realize that there are two sides to any script.

I walked around my room
Not thinking
Just sinking in this box

I blame myself for being too much
Like somebody else
I never thought I would just
Bend this way
Then a phone call made me realize I’m wrong

Actualizing thoughts in the middle of the night helps to understand the drivers that are behind them. For example sympathetic rage or a sense of injustice, worry about things out of your control, trying to find the place you hold within your tribe — these are all things that can lead to sleepless nights. Understand that in itself, none of these things are causing harm. None of these things are affecting you at this moment. The seriousness of the thought is paired with the impotence to do anything about it.

And if I don’t make it known that
I’ve loved you all along

To be able to make a sport of assessing what is in your mind and poking a little fun at it will help. For example, if only this chaotic mess was as organized as my sock drawer — wait, that too is a mess! Try to step back from the edge, the seriousness of life.

Writing your thoughts will put them into context. You can set affirmations for actions that you can do during the daytime to address your thoughts, e.g. climate change is an issue and therefore I resolve to change my behavior by doing X, Y, and Z from the morning/everyday.